Water bug flavor

South Asians seem to have a rather odd palate when it comes to snack food. Many things which we expect to be salty turn out to have loads of added sugar and, while the sweet things may indeed be sweet, they too-often also taste of fish. Imagine eating a chocolate cake which is light on the chocolate and sugar and cooked in cod liver oil. Yum.

 

Wander through any given market and you can find the most exotic tastes: Sugared Green Bean and Rye Cake, anyone? Or how about Butter Cookies With Pork Bits? And no, that's not a typo: I said Pork, as in Pig. Mmm-mmm, just like Mama used to make.

 

Of course, if you want something more substantial, then you can also find hard-boiled eggs which conceal a fairly well developed baby chick--beak, downy feathers, talons... I don't know if you add sugar or salt to that but in our case I doubt it would matter.

 

We saw a young lady (20's) in the market carrying two live rats by the tail. It appeared that she was looking for some fresh cilantro and I don't think it was to feed the rats. No, I'm pretty sure those poor rats ended up in a hybrid apple pie.

 

The market is also one of those strange places where you can find condiments with ingredients like "water bug flavor"; this, of course begs the question: Is it too expensive or perhaps too icky to harvest "real" water bug flavor?

 

Imagine if it were your job to create authentic-tasting water bug flavor in the lab.

 

Technician Wang sips a teaspoonful of liquid. "Hmm," he says. "I don't know, Yip. This tastes more like eye of newt to me."

 

Yip sighs. "Yeah, I know. Back to drawing board. Pass me some more rat pie."

 

Perhaps you can better understand the mindset here if I provide some Thai witticisms and maxims I found on a box of rice cakes:

 

"If one wants to go away, make other feel pity. If he passes away, make other praise and memorize."

 

"Asking is more expensive than buying, reputing is more expensive than saying."

 

"The steady house has many poles."

 

That last one actually makes sense to me. But this is my favorite:

"Look at the female beauty when she is searching for the fish; look at the male intelligent when he is drinking."

 

Ah, the things you can learn while munching on a rice cake...

 

NB